Okay, it's New Year's Eve, and we all know what that means!!! It's a time for reflection on the year past, a
time to re-evaluate our goals, set new ones, and make resolutions for the coming twelve months...

Unless you're me, that is!!!!!!

I've picked up two extra packs of smokes, the truck from the Beer Store has dropped off the kegs, I've got a
line-up of bottles that the Liquor Store would envy, and my "Thank-You For Your Continued Patronage, Not To
Mention Keeping Us In Business" certificates from both places are proudly framed and sitting where everyone
can see them!!! The freezer has been cleaned out (who needs food, anyway?), all the ice trays are full to
capacity (138 of 'em, reading and waiting), the fish have been taken out of the tank (so we can do Monster
Martinis and Funky Cold Medinas later) and safely stored in the kitchen sink. I was going to put them in the
bathtub, but after last year's impromptu Hottub party ( 3 guys and 4 women with straws and a gutload of
beans), I didn't think I could risk it!!!!! The blender was the other option, but that just seems way too obvious
as an accident waiting to happen!! And hey, who says we don't learn from past mistakes?!

There's a wheelbarrow full of Doritos, a roast pan (I knew that I had one!! Would have come in handy on
Christmas) full of dip, and Pizza Hut is on the speed dial on the phone. They've already been warned ahead
of time, so there should be no problem there. We don't need a repeat of last year's little fiasco, when we all
had the munchies so bad we broke into our local grocery store at 2:00 a.m. and stuffed ourselves with olives,
ripe camembert cheese, peanuts and artichokes!! It was quite the sight the next morning (or so the police
told us), 47 people, passed out in their underwear, laying in Aisle 3, bloated beyond recognition and covered
with ketchup and mustard after an inspired food fight!!!! Ah, good times!!!!

Anyway, we're all set, so I guess I should hit the phone, get yammering and inviting (free booze ALWAYS
brings them running!), and maybe find a clock that works. We really should know the exact time to do the
annual mooning of Dick Clark, see if it helps him to catch up with his age.

Happy New Year everyone, and I'll give you a damage report tomorrow, pending a possible bail hearing!!

I hope that everyone had a very merry Christmas and managed to stay away from the feast tables long
enough to open their presents!! I'm thinking that Santa was good to everyone, and I hope that I'm right in
believing that. It was a quiet one here at the Ranch, with lots of food, gifts, family and friends. Oh, and a
little bit of booze (quite naturally!). What's a bachelor Christmas without all of those wonderful things?!

We tried something a little different this year. Instead of going down to KFC, buying a bucket, stripping
off the skin and re-assembling the chicken to resemble a turkey, we tried cooking for a change. I mean, we
actually went out, bought one of those frozen footballs that said "Butterball" on it, and chucked it in the oven
for a couple of hours. I never realized that if you do things like that, that you have to read the instructions on
the labels. Apparently there's stuff inside that you're supposed to take out before you throw the frozen carcass
in the heater, and you're supposed to put it in a "roast pan", whatever the hell that is!! Anyway, we didn't.
We stripped off the outer layer of plastic (gonna use it as a rain tarp in the summer), found a pie plate, set
the gobbler on it, turned up the heat as high as it would go and just shoved it in. We were pretty ticked that
it didn't fit in the microwave, but we thought we could figure this thing out as we went. So, if 350 degrees for
for six hours is good, then 500 degrees for four hours should work, right? Anyhow, we did all that, and then
decided that we should watch re-runs of "Gilligan's Island" and drink a case of beer. Well, I'll tell you, midway
through the sixteenth episode, during a heated "who's hotter, Mary-Ann or Ginger" debate (personally, I think
Mary-Ann gets it, hands down), it occurred to us that we should check on our festive creation. Besides, we
were out of beer and somebody had to go to the kitchen and grab the jug of whiskey. Anyway, I got up out of
my chair to go do these things, took one step out of the living room, when all of a sudden there was this god-
awful explosion!! Initially we thought that someone had been trying to clean the toilets with cherry bombs
again, but upon closer inspection they turned out to be okay. It was then that it occurred to us, in our ever
so slightly inebriated state, to check the kitchen. Oh, the humanity!!!!! The door had blown off of the oven,
the entire inside of it was caked with bird, not to mention the walls and floor, and the dog had run off to the
local SPCA to report us for cruelty. So we stood there in the middle of all of that, scrutinizing the situation,
then decided that we could do only one thing. We grabbed that bottle of whiskey, a can of mix, and retreated
to watch the rest of "Gilligan". Hey, from long practice we've learned that if you're drunk enough, you can eat
anything.

We were, and we did. Urp!! Next time we'll stick with weiners and beans.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I've been away, but my poor little 'pooter died, and it's just today
returned to the land of the living!! I want you to know that I've missed you all, and that I hope you all have a
wonderful day tomorrow!!! Special greetings to Michelle, Tracey, Pidge, Tami, Animal, Scarecrow, The King,
Deb and all those who have made my life so wonderful without knowing it!! I hope that it's a day that you all
remember fondly!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!!!! The Brother and I will be raising a toast to you tomorrow as we
listen to your songs and have our Island Breakfast. Tomorrow's menu includes cocoanut shrimp, pineapple,
mangoes, grapes, bananas, melon, specialty coffees (mmmmmm), and of course, our ritual of watching
"Club Paradise" . I just love Christmas!!!!!!!!!

My best to all of you, and I'll be sure to write more soon now that I'm back!!!!!

Sunday again!!!! Yahooooooooooooooo!!!!! And what a beautiful morning it is!!!!!! The sun is shining, the
birdies are chirping, and there's a bachelor breakfast just waiting to be cooked!!! All the Italian Cheese Toast
is gone, but I kept the crusts, just in case they can be used in some diabolical experiment that would stretch
the limits of even my iron-clad constitution!!!! Let's go to the fridge and see what we've got...

Crusts, chip dip, mayo (way past expiry!!) some ham left over from Rememberance Day, limes, a bottle of
Vodka, three pieces of vaguely discoloured, unidentifiable meat products (green is good, right?), a bottle of
water (what? Must be the Brother's), a box of Cow Brand baking soda (hmmm, like as in Scotch and soda?),
a bowl of...of...let me get a stick here (poke, prod)...okay...something, not sure what, and a jar of olives.
Not much to work with, for a typical person, but for a bachelor? A virtual buffet in paradise!!!!!!!!!! Oh, the
glory of it all!!!! If I assemble enough of those crusts, I could make a mayo and olive sandwich!!! Or, I could
take the lime, cut it up (Note: get the knife out of the tool shed, it's in the potting soil bag), dip it in the Baking
Soda and try frying it up along with the ham and the bowl of...whatever, and then garnish is all with chip dip!!
Or I could use the vodka to sterilize the "meat products", kill off anything that might just be stronger than my
stomach, and cook that (Note: DON'T do it!!!! Remember the last time??!!! The hallucinations!? The blue-
fanged Charlie Browns coming out of the wallpaper??!!). Okay, forget that one!!!!!!! Better yet, I think I'll just
skip the solids, go onto the Vodka Martinis, and prepare for this afternoon's soiree across the street.

Always be prepared!!!! Boy Scouts and bachelors...same credo, same purpose!!!

Alright, more apologies!!! I've been MIA a couple of days, but I'm back!! Sorry about missing those days,
but I'll try and make up for it...

Pidge has been thinking, yet again..."Nacho" is the latest name she submitted in our "Weird and Wild
Nickname Contest". And here's a couple more that need to go with them: Yipper and Seppy, and we
can't forget Fader Jorge (pronounced "fodder hor-gay"), the coffee shop's resident bible-totin' soul saver!!
I'm still waiting for my "Get Out Of Hell Free" card from him, but I don't expect it anytime soon!!! He says
that I actually have to be GOOD to get it!!! This will be harder than I thought!!!!

Well, today it's definitely, officially Christmas for me! Today is the day the tree goes up at the "Sahara
Ranch" and I make my Baileys for Christmas Eve. So the parties officially start this weekend, and go on
pretty well right up until the BIG DAY!! Great, more excuses to be bad!! Just what we needed! So, I'm
really looking forward to getting the tree up, so that I can give Pidge some competition for "purtiest tree
on the planet". It could be tense, and I don't know how we'll compare them, 'cause I don't have a
scanner here, so she'll just have to take my word for it that it's pretty darn good!!!! Judging by everyone
else's blogs, I'm a late starter for the tree thing, but hey, better late than never, right?

Well, that's gonna be it for now. I'm going to go and have some Italian Cheese Toast for breakfast and
then get ready for work. The Brother and his lady just walked in, and I've just received my first smack of
the day, so the day is definitely under way!! I'm off, in more ways than one...!!!!

Sorry about missing a day guys, but I couldn't play on the 'pooter last night. The Brother (my roomie)
works for the Township, and with the load of snow we got yesterday there was a good chance he would have
gotten called in to plow the roads. I know, I know, why don't I have a separate line for the 'net? 'Cause I'm
cheap, dammit!!!!!!!! And besides, I need to keep the money for other, more important things...like Goslings
Black Rum, cocoanut milk, mangoes, papayas, Kraft Dinner and pineapple juice. Mix 'em all together and
you've got one helluva drink!! (the macaroni makes it chewy!!)

I'd like to say "hi" and "thank-you" to Roy (Animal), Tami (Ola) Roscoe and Lynn/Grace, who've all dropped
by the site to have a look and find out what's going on in this island boy's mind. It was REALLY nice that
Animal and Ola signed the guestbook...right, Roscoe? Don't worry big guy, you'll catch on one day!! LOL

So, as I said, we really got dumped on last night, a good 3 - 5 inches. And cold!!! Damn Pidge, you would
have frozen your little tuckus off up here. But all that's okay, 'cause we're Canadian, and we can handle it!!
(Note to Self: Buy one-way ticket to Carribean, invite friends, have big party, enjoy summer all year!!)

By the way Pidge, Ola says she was having the same problems as you with the "Sailor Moon" dolls, and
her ultimate conclusion was to take duct tape (another fine Canadian invention, just ask Red Green), wrap
it around the doll's leg to attach it to the body, and then proudly announce to her daughter that she now had
a "Barbie with a cast!!" Little Harry (Aaron) bought the idea, and great calm was restored.

Today at the shop I was serving customers "Texas Six-Gun Double-Toilet Chili". What, I hear you ask, in
the hell is THAT? Well, to be truthful, nobody knows, but it looks, smells and even sort of tastes like chili,
so it gets cooked and served. I make it different every time, and there's always at least one new secret
ingredient. Today's "special guest" was Frosted Flakes!! No, really!! It really takes the edge off of the
half-cup of tobasco sauce and the quarter pound of limburger cheese...okay, I COULD be kidding, but you
never know. As soon as any of my customers get out of the hospital, we'll ask 'em. If their tongues have
healed from those second degree burns. Gotta admit though, it was kind of kewl to see smoke actually
pouring out of a person's mouth (that was different!!) Yeah, a little warm and toasty. But hey, it was a cold
day, right?

Maybe next time I'll substitute horseradish for the lemonade, see what happens to the flavour then. I don't
think the citrus pulp mixes properly with the meat, and people are bound to notice.

So Pidge has finally asked that question that has plagued scholars for the past few centuries: "Why do
all the kewl people live in Canada?" Well, with today's advanced technology, we can now answer that
question by putting it into twelve of our eighteen local Keray Model 10 supercomputers (PS2's with an extra
outlet!) Okay, the question is in, the calculations and configurations are being made, and now, for the first
time ever, HERE is the answer!!!!!!!!!!

2 litres of water
1 tbsp olive oil
250 g of cream cheese
1 cup grated parmesan
500 ml whipping cream
500 g fresh fettucine
250 g of...

Wait a minute!!! What the hell...?? That's my recipe for "seafood fettucine"!! Well, so much for that!!!
Will we ever know the answer? Probably not. But Pidge, here's something to consider. Myself, I think that
when we were all up in Heaven, before we got to come down and start our little go-round on this plane of
existence, I think God asked us where we'd like to live. Those of us who were sitting in the back of the
classroom that day, not paying attention and messing around as usual, got caught off-guard and thought
we were being asked a question on history, something like "In what country did the Winnipeg General
Strike occur?" We all automatically answered "Canada", feeling pretty smart at the time for knowing THAT
relatively boring fact (to this day we're STILL taught in history classes that that was the most exciting thing
that ever happened in our country!) Goes to show you that you should pay attention in class!! So it
basically comes down to the fact that we weren't listening when we were supposed to be, and we've been
trying to make up for it ever since! That's why we gave the world basketball and the telephone, sort of big
apology and all. Next time a question like that comes along we'll be listening closely, and maybe next
time around we won't have to learn to put up with long underwear and reruns of "Gilligan's Island"!!

Speaking of which, did they EVER get off that island?!

I decided, this being Sunday and all, that maybe I should do some house cleaning. Now as a rule, bachelors
don't do this themselves, because it's considered far too dangerous for them to actually attempt using cleaning
solvents, vacuum cleaners and soap without the proper, adult supervision. But, since there is no one actually
alive willing attempt to clean up after us, at least not without the use of a bio-hazard suit on, sometimes we
have to break down and do it ourselves. I learned a couple of interesting things...

During the summer, when you occasionally pick up a broom or a dustmop to sweep up after you brought
the guys back after a rained-out baseball game or a rousing romp of touch-football in the mud, do you
remember what you did with all the dirt? Apparently, there's something called a "dustpan" that you can
sweep this stuff into, and then dispose of properly. Myself, I don't own one of these things, and the registers
ARE open ducts to somewhere out of sight, so that's where it goes. I made an amazing discovery, though,
when I turned on the furnace the other day...unlike the keys to your car, your membership to the gun club
and that list of important things to do, the dirt doesn't STAY missing when you do that!!!! Suddenly, it's
right there is your face, and on your furniture, and on the drapes, and on...well, everything!!!! I thought that
the furnace sounded kind of funny when I started it the other day, sort of a grinding and groaning from the
nether regions of the house, and then the floors heaved, there was a mighty "WHOOOOMP", like some
primordial belch from hell, and the next thing I knew, I thought it was snowing...inside. Hmmmmmmm.

Oh well, live and learn. Now where's the garden hose? I've got to wash the dishes and the floor at the
same time...hey, saves time!!!! Tide, Pin-Sol, Easy-Off...just what the hell works best on wood floors and
paper plates??

Hey, TOO KEWL!!!!! Scarecrow dropped by to sign my guestbook!!!! Thanks "J", you're the King!!!!!!
And Pidge (poor, sleepless Pidge, due to constantly thinking of nicknames for my list) has sent me more
names for the list!!! Thank-you!!!!!!!!!

Before we go any further, those in our happy little circle have a beef: we KNOW by our counters that there
are a certain number of people that drop by on a regular basis to read whatever drivel we set down, so WHY
don't you sign our guestbooks?! C'mon, make our days, let us know that we make your days, or you think
we're nuts, or whatever!! K? This was a public service message.

Okay, new names...Pidge, are you sure that you're NOT living in Hillbilly Heaven? LOL Just asking!

SkinnyButt, Gome, Toot-Toot, SugarBooger (Yuck!!! PLEASE!!), SugarTush (that's better), 8-Ball (uh-huh,
wonder how THAT one came to be), ToeNail, ToeFunk, ToeJam (foot fetishes, anyone?), Nostrils, The Dream,
and Ice Cream.

Thanks again, Pidge. Hmmmm, that last one reminds me of this girl that we grew up with, and her nickname
was "Tin Roof". She was going out with my buddy Cookie, and we all went to a hockey tournament together
in Barrie. Anyway, she got THIS nickname from a certain sexual deviancy thing that was attempted, and
then...well, that's another story altogether! I wasn't involved, so I wasn't scarred for life, although if you read
my previous blog, you might wonder about that! LOL

Anyway, Scarecrow has updated his blog, filled us in a little more about himself, and I suggest you check
it out!! I'd have the link pasted here, but I still don't know how to do that, and I feel guilty asking anyone
because 'Racey and Pook have already gone above and beyond in helping me out with this page. So, go
to Pidge's page ("slobbybloggy" in the left column), check up on her, and then go from there. And while
you're at it, check up on the rest of our happy bunch, see what's going on!! It's not a law, but it WILL help
with your peace of mind. Well, for MOST of us!! LOL

Gotta go check the mail....

Sunday morning, and that means GOOD!!! Even though it means I've got to start my usual work-week
all over again tomorrow, today I have a whole day to figure out what to do. And what could be more
exciting for a bachelor on a Sunday morning than...BREAKFAST!!!!!! Ooooooooh yeah!!!!

Now, I know that some of you don't think that this sounds too exciting, but you have to understand, a
bachelor's breakfast is like NO other!!! We can wander down to the fridge, yawning and stretching, with a
grin on our faces, thinking of the virtual cornucopia of goodies that await us!! Traditional folks this morning
will be sitting down to eggs, bacon, ham, waffles, juice and milk, maybe even a sausage or two. As a
matter of fact, if I was in the Islands right now, I'd be having fresh mango, eggs, and a tall glass of OJ and
and equally big one of milk. But I am here, and that means my choices are different, and therefore more
exciting...

By the way, when I refer to bachelors, that also includes the ladies (bachelorettes). We're all in this
together, and I'm rooting for ya!!!

Let's see, what can we have today? Ooooooh, the choices!!!!!!! Choice number one is Egg-Foo Breakfast
(left-over Chinese food), number two is Italian Cheese Toast (leftover pizza), and number three is Death Over
Easy (leftover leftovers!!!). Be still my heart, and be bold my arteries!!!! What's this?!!!! Oh wait, yet
ANOTHER choice!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, happy day!!!!!! Is that something swimming in a bowl of ketchup????!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heartburn City, here I come!!!!!!!!!!! Now, the next thing to decide is to whether
you just pop it into the microwave for a couple of minutes, just to see if the skin on the top will loosen up,
or should I leave it outside for an hour, unobserved, and then go out and see if there's any dead critters
around it? Decisions, decisions. Too many for a Sunday!!! Let's go for Death Over Easy!!!! It looks
appetizing enough! (Important Note: To qualify for this distinction, the leftover leftovers must be a MINIMUM
one week old, must be ALL mixed together, and you shouldn't be able to remember when exactly you had
the first chance to ingest these tasty treats!) Something else to consider...is there enough Alka-Seltzer in
the house to stave off the possible repercussions of this "meal". Best to check that FIRST!! Alright, we're
all set to go!!!!

To properly prepare this morning repast, certain steps MUST be taken. Steps must be followed as set down
in the Bachelor Handbook, which we all received upon graduation from Bachelor University, where we also
had a minor in "Soap Flakes: Breakfast Cereal or Something Else Entirely?" Junior bachelors in training,
do NOT attempt "Death Over Easy" prior to graduation!!! It can be fatal to those who have not yet taken
"The Iron Gut: Preparation, Care and Maintenance"!!

Step 1: Find a pot or pan. It may be in the oven, or under the fridge catching drippings, or on the living room
sofa, filled with gear oil to clean that carbeurator. Retrieve it, empty it out as much as possible, but
DO NOT wash it, and put it on the top of the stove. Remove other items from stovetop that may be
flammable, like copies of Maxim, The Wall Street Journal, socks, and last weeks newspaper that
you had the fish wrapped in when the tragic "Trout Almandine" experiment failed.

Step 2: Empty contents of fridge into pot. Maybe add a little water to it, just in case. If your water has been
shut off (it HAPPENS!!), find a half-full beer bottle or that bottle of bourbon that you cleverly hid in
with the cleaning supplies (so THAT'S where it went!!! Never would have thought to look there. What
the hell are these other things? Pledge? Sprrrrrrrt...oooh, it's lemon air freshener!!!!! Too kewl!!)

Step 3: Place pot on top of burner, turn on "high", and go watch "SportsDesk" for an hour. This is
important, because it will take at LEAST long for that gluey, tarry mass to achieve the proper
consistency so that it can slide down your throat without lodging in it. By the way, just because
10W30 is an oil, it does not, repeat DOES NOT, work as a suitable lubricant for food. Not all oils
are created equally. Use 3-In-1 instead.

Step 4: Return to kitchen, turn off heat, turn off smoke alarm, remind yourself to get fire extinguishers
re-filled, and throw pot outside to cool down. Go to pantry, find bottle of Bacon Bits, pour into the
dog's bowl (it's the only one you'll have, and besides, the dog hasn't been eating lately due to the fact
that he was brave enough to attempt wolfing down the tragically aforementioned "Trout Almandine"
experiment), add Alka-Seltzer tablets (two) and Kool-Aid (mix with aquarium water). Enjoy!!!!!!!!

Aaaah, breakfast!!!!!!!!!!!! Truly the most important meal of the day!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! Smiles, everyone, smiles!!!! How's everyone's day been? Good? Good.

Pidge was back to me with yet MORE nicknames; I'm beginning to think that her part of the world is a
lot like mine, complete with rednecks and hillbillies!! LOL I submit the newest list, and you can decide
from there:

CJ, Kitten, Little Joe (I'll see you back at the Ponderosa, Pa!), Precious, Tay Tay, BabyDoll, Troll,
GoatBoy (PLEASE, spare us the details on THAT one!!), Nub, Tee (golf instructor?), Logey, Bear,
Morgie Borgie, Big Ma, Biggun', Littlun', Oohma, DirtDobber, Stinkah Britch, Seven, Pops (a little girl
that lives down the street from her), and the ever-popular Pinky!!!

Looking back, this list is pretty impressive! Thanks to everyone for all their help on this. I still haven't
heard what would be a suitable prize for the winner, but I'm sure that we'll get to that!!! It can't be a
million dollars, of course, especially if Pidge is the winner, 'cause that'd be, oh, about a billion and a half
Canadian, I think!!! We'd have to borrow the money from lower Mongolia!!!

Speaking of a billion dollars, here's something that irks me!!! This is how forgiving we Canadians are, and
it's something that I just can't understand!!! Earlier this year, one of our members of parliament, Jane Stewart,
who was in charge of Job Development and Human Resources, had this great idea to help out new businesses
and such with loans to get started. Well, she and her happy dwarves gave out the money left, right and
centre, but didn't bother to CHECK to see where the money was going or if it was even being paid back!!!!!!!
The next thing you know, there's a BILLION dollars Canadian missing and unnaccounted for!!!!! (That's about
ten dollars US) So, she gets dismissed and has to find something else to do for awhile. Get this; two weeks
ago we had our federal election, and she gets voted back in!!!!!! She's in the riding just south of this county
where I live, and I seriously think that there's something in the water down that way, 'cause these people
just aren't right in the head!!!!!!!!!! When she lost the money, our "beloved" Prime Minister, Jean Chretien,
called it a "billion dollar boondoggle" (his actual words!!!! "Boondoggle" is French for "I don' know what dat
dere is in de English dere). Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!

With common sense like that, maybe I CAN get elected Supreme Ruler of the Free World, even with a
nickname like "Poonum Bear"!! LOL

Today has been one of those days that I look forward to so much. It's all been incredibly good, and
now I'm just sitting back and revelling in it. There's a pile of paperwork on the table that I know won't
get done, I had to explain to one of my employees about what it is I need for her to do to keep my
business running smoothly (yet again), I still haven't learned to play the piano and there's seven new
books (oops, eight) that I haven't started reading yet, though I know that I eventually will. But that's
all by the wayside, 'cause like I said, it's been an incredibly good day!!

I got to spend time doing the things that I love the most, seeing people and going to places that create
special memories, and now I'm just kicking back, having a smoke, listening to Jimmy Buffett tell about
life in the islands, and going back over the happenings of the day. Isn't life wonderful when you get to do
the things you really look forward too? I recently explained to someone very close to me that "it's the
little things that make life so good". It doesn't have to be something huge and monumental, it just has
to be something that's done with love. Too many times we think that we have to prove ourselves to those
we love by doing something incredible, something thoughtful and that has great meaning. And while that
is wonderful, it's still the little things that mean so much. A phonecall, a letter, a smile. Something that
says "I'm thinking of you". What could be better? The next time those who are close to you do something
like that, be sure to thank them for it. They may say no thanks are needed, but everyone needs to know
that you appreciate their efforts, no matter how trivial it may seem to them. In the long run, the little things
eventually gel into one big thing, a beautiful collage of memories to last a lifetime.

Thank-you!!

Other things that make you think...

Okay, so I've got the stereo going as I write, and I hear the CrimeStoppers blurb come on, yapping about
their "Crime of the Week". So it made me wonder, how would it feel if you were the person responsible for
the crime? Would you be excited that you made it on the radio? Would you call your buddies and tell them
that you're famous now, and you can move onto bigger and better stuff? Would you disdain the usual, run
of the mill B & E and turn to carjackings? This would be interesting to know. I wonder, if the criminal
organizations in this country had an awards show, would it be based on the number of times you made
"Crime Of The Week" on radio, TV or in the newspapers? Or would they base it on flashiness? Maybe
it'd be like the Academy Awards, and they'd have a whole list of sub-categories; fastest timing, cleanest
getaway, slickest duplicity, disguises, attitude during crime commision, and maybe a special category
for fastest hands in the 3 card Monte demonstration.

Where's my voting card? I want to nominate the Queen for her neck-wringing episode with the pheasant
a week ago!! I'll mark it under "necessary but misunderstood". If the Queen actually wins the award, I
wonder if she'd bring the carcass? I guess it would be alright if she used the feathers to make herself a
new hunting hat, she could bring that instead.

Alright, this is getting weird, so I'd better go...

Alright!!!!!!!!!!! More names to add: Farhonalarue, Scrubby, Chubrina Ballerina, Three Bums, Bicky Baby,
Shell the Belle, Monkey, Motormouth, Thunderlips, Mao, Cabbage Patch and Chicklet.

The ol' list is starting to grow. It's funny when you look at the names that have been put down, and you
think of the people that go with them. I know what it's like to have one of those names, and how it came to
be, and it's weird how you can have an affection for them after awhile, like it's your personal property. Have
you ever run into anybody with the same nickname as you? Kinda strange how you'd react to someone
having the same moniker as you. It's not like the first name is the same, but the special name is. That's
sort of like a territorial thing. Hmmmm, something to think about!

Hmmmm, I was beginning to think that this nickname thing was going to go nowhere, but I just happened
to be on my routine blog-tour this morning and I saw that Pidge had come up with a bunch for me!!!
Thanks kiddo!!!!

Spot, Flea, Boogy, Muzzie, HoneyDew, "P", "B" (a cat), Slam, The Lamb, Harry, Ben, Big Ben, Benny,
Bronson (the previous five were her father), Mary Todd, Nuisance (not too tough to figure out!), Peanut (1,2,3),
NayNay, Bubba, Goobey (goobey?!), FrenchMa, Ophy, Pieface (hmmmm), Cap'n, and last, but definitely
not least in this little list, Coconut Harley. Check out slobbybloggy to find out the origin of that one!!!

Thanks Pidge, and thanks again to Michelle and Tracey for their contributions.

But I need more!!!!!!! We should make this a contest, and the winner gets, ummmmmmmm, well, I don't
know, but I'll take suggestions on that too!! Lemme hear from ya!!!

I was thinking back to what I wrote about having a song for Michelle. Actually, I DO have one, and
I've written out the words here so you can understand how I feel for her. It's not so much about the
time mentioned in it, but more of the feelings brought out in me by her. This is a version that was
done by The Beachcombers, a band that plays at Ocean Annie's in Myrtle Beach.

"Too Good To Be True"

It's getting late and the day's at it's end
My favourite time of night is right around the bend
It's when the time comes to turn the lights down low

She pours the wine, and I'll lock the door
She takes my hand like so many nights before
That's when I know Heaven's waiting for me

She's too good to be true, she blows my mind
She's still the one who thrills me time after time
It's unbelievable, the way she moves me
She's so easy to love, so tender to hold
She touches me like no one I've ever known
The way she moves me
She's too good to be true

The radio plays a melody
One designed especially for her and me
An old love song, that we used to slow dance to
And when she says how happy she's been
An old familiar feeling comes over me again
I count my blessings, how lucky I am

She's too good to be true, she blows my mind
She's still the one who thrills me time after time
It's unbelievable, the way she moves me
She's so easy to love, so tender to hold
She touches me like no one I've ever known
The way she moves me
She's too good to be true

The way she moves me
She's too good to be true...

And that's just the way it is. The best part about all of that is that she doesn't even have
to try to make these feelings come out in me. They are always there, in my heart and in my
mind, and that is something that is irreplaceable!! To feel that way for someone so naturally,
to love them for who they are and not who you perceive them to be, that's what love truly is.
She ISN'T too good to be true; she's a wonderful, loving woman, a beautiful mother and a
person that you count yourself lucky to know. She's just as human as the rest of us, and
she has the same feelings, the same doubts, and the same anxieties as the rest of us,
and that just makes her more endearing when she's willing to confront them and try to solve
them, not run away and hope everything will get better on its own. She's strong, stronger
than she knows, and even when things look their bleakest, she knows that she has people
who love her and will be there for her, no matter what. She is Michelle, the centre of my
universe.

She's unbelievable.

But NOT too good to be true!!!!!

You gotta love people that are remembering the things that you forget!! Kind of like having a personal
overseer/reminder!!! Thanks to Flutterbymee, we can add "Chernobyl Bob" to the list. And so, in doing
that, we also have Flutter's nickname, which is "Racey" or "Hot L'il Momma", definitely not last OR
least!! Thanks Racey, and thanks Michelle for making me admit to "Poonum Bear" in public!! LOL

If anyone reading this stuff that I write has any additions, please feel free to e-mail them to me!!
Let's see who has the weirdest and wildest one's out there, but they have to be REAL nicknames,
nothing made up on the spur of the moment!!!!!!

Here's a couple more of those nicknames that I was trying to remember that didn't occur to me until
the customers started rolling in this morning: Rooster, Roscoe, Weiner, Rusty, Kev-Chop, Mo, Heat
(aka The Blanket), Kingpin and Puddles The Birthday Clown (how the hell could I have forgotten THAT
one??!!)

Also, Michelle pointed out to me that I had forgotten two very important ones; the ones that we have for
each other. The reason that I didn't mention them was because the one I have for her is a private pet-name,
but you should all know that it is "Pook". The other one that I didn't mention is the one that she has for me,
and the reason for that is...well....c'mon, "Poonum Bear"? Alright, yes, it IS cute, but how will I ever get
elected as leader of the free world if THAT one was widely known?! LOL Gotta love her!!! And no, honey,
they weren't mentioned because you WEREN'T on my mind...you're ALWAYS on my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey,
I just got an idea for a song that...no, wait, Willie Nelson did that one already. ~SIGH~ Back to the 'ol
drawing board for that.